Saturday, 26 March 2011

Nope, He Isn't Available To Be Your Superman... How About This One Instead?

So I was work all day today! 9 bloody 30 till 7 bloody o clock! Highlights of the day? Well I saw Primark Boy, and he hinted about how much work he has this week, so it seems I won't be going to his this week :( . I believe that the reason for the bad turn of events in this case, is due to the reappearnce of my ex boyfriend who dropped me off to work and also picked me up. You may think it's a bit melodramatic to blame him for the lack of interest shown my Primark Boy, but really and truly, everytime he comes back, he ruins something thats going good in my life. And evrytime I cut him out, things get better. Don't believe me? Don't worry, there'll be more examples of this in the future I'm sure. For example, he saw the pictures of me Sam and Daniel! Now I'm sure that this week with them is going to rocky and problematic.

But yeah anyway he came to pick me up and drop me off. In the car he was being really nice, and still rather like we were together. The dynamics of our relationship when we are together hasn't changed at all. The only thing that binds me to him is routine, and how easy it can all be. He was holding my hand and touching my leg and he kissed me and hugged me. I was kind of annoyed, that he kissed me and I allowed it to go on. It's not like I don't miss him, but he can't just pretend everything is normal after everything he's done to me, and expect to carry on the way he does. On my way bqck home tommorrow on the train I can tell you the story of me and my ex. I asked him if he still misses me and he said yeah really unconvincingly. I asked him if he still loved me and he replied I never said I didn't love you.

Thing was, and I never thought I would have ever ended up here, but I didnt feel what I used to feel for him. I didn't feel like I needed him, or even that I wanted him. I actually felt indifferent. Isn't that when you're truly over someone??

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