I am stunned. One conversation that started in the corner of Brunel Library has had such a profound effect to my blog. I can't help but feel some sort of gratitude towards Daniel eventhough I'm still peeved that he found and read the content of my blog.
So yeah his cynical view on love and relationships has managed to bring me more hits in one day than I got altogether in the last month. Yesterday, I even got my first TWO blog comments. I can see why blogging is so addictive. Having people comment on your thoughts and experiences is rather heartening. I was so excited yesterday when my pageviews were just going up and up, and according to referring sites, people have emailed and and posted my blog on their facebooks!! This is MY blog that gets like 1 or 2 hits at most in a day, and just that would give me a feeling of elevation. So when i was geting hits in the 20's and 30's I was pratically sitting in the library looking like I'm going to burst, and with my headphones in, I'm sure I earned a few strange looks for letting slip a giggle every now and then. You can probably tell I'm a little new to all of this. But yeah, my point being, Thankyou, to all of you who have taken the time out to read the crap I write on here and offering to share your own experiences. (",)
Anyhoo... I was sitting in the library yesterday when I saw Daniel walk in. He was standing there talking to a bunch of girls. And I don't know if it was because of being nervous or what. It probably was, but I felt this really strange feeling in my stomach when I saw him. Like you know when you're on a rollercoaster and it suddenly drops, and you get that feeling in your stomach. Yeah that. Then he sat with them for ages, and I thought maybe he might just not come over and just leave. Which I didn't want him to do. He came over eventually, and gave me one of his big man hugs. I'm glad he's okay with me like it hasn't affected us as much as I thought it would, but somethings still a little different. It's like he's holding back a little now, he's not as himself as he was. Which I guess is a good thing because he might think he's leading me on and doesn't want to do that. And i appreciate it. But he isn't leading me on, I know it isn't ever going to happen and I'd rather he went back to his normal self.
Anyway after he went, the comments appeared, and they all really put into words what I've wanted to say to him, even some of the things that I hadn't realised. I had to tell him about the comments etc, after all if it wasn't for him my blog would still only be getin 1 or 2 hits a day. And it was nice to have someone to share this with. His response was "See I told you I can get you more views!." He seemed to share my excitement about it, and it's something I have I share with only him. He was really intrigued about the comments I had recieved, and I really wanted him to read it because they would have spoke well to him. So i copied and pasted it to him, and he argued that I had put across his argument wrong. He wanted to see what I had written, and my need for him to see he was wrong was overriding my need to keep my blog a secret. So I compromised and copied and pasted him just my post. He told me off for totally missing his point. I asked him to correct me and he didn't. He tried to change the point he was arguing and saying he didn't say you fall in love less eachtime you go into a new relationship etc. He said he would write a reply to us. But I wouldn't hold my breath, because he said he would call and explain it all to me and he didn't. It's good he's changing what he's saying anywasy because it means he's coming round to my way of thinking. Better for him to realise somethings aobut love now, while he falls in love with her, instead of going into it blindly. Usually it's those that try to protect themselves so badly that get hurt the most.