Sunday, 24 April 2011

Blast from the Past

Major crap happened yesterday. What an eventful day. Went to see Gregory yesterday. He's been my friend since secondary school and is my best mate. He is my slightly camp most drama queen friend that every girl has! It was so good to be able to spend the day with him and listen to his many many drama filled stories. Anyhoo whilst walking through east ham I ran into Steve. He's my the xBF's cousin.

I met him about two years ago and we became really close. He used to have a girlfriend and when I was with my ex we used to lean on eachother when either of us had trouble with our other half and help eachother through it. I helped him get over his girl and he helped me get over my ex.

When things were really bad with my ex he came to uxbridge and spent the day with me. We had so much fun, talking abt anything and everything and the way he looked after me, it was really what I wanted out of my ex. Anyway when my ex came back we sort of drifted a little again because I tried to give me and him another chance and steve was sick of me always going back to him. One day when we started talking again, and I'm not proud of this, it certainly isn't one of my proudest moments, but I talked to him in a more seductive manner, because either way it was a win win situation for me. The worst that would have happened was that it would have got back to my ex and in a way that was the best thing that could have happened because, I wanted to hurt him as much as he was hurting me. And he did find out, I didn't know what exactly happened until yesterday but it really just backfired on my ex and Steve, it didn't really effect me, apart from making my ex realise he was losing me.

Since then, it's kind of been a boycott her period as far as steve was concerened, but seeing him yesterday TWICE, and now everythings changed. He readded me on facebook and started talking. He told me he missed me and told me he was sorry, which is an achievement for him. Steve is like a proper hardcore rude boy that really means shit. You don't really be rude to him unless u want trouble, which is why I can't really talk to him like I would other guys. He is really good looking, and always goes for the best looking girls. He calls me his money penny, because of the way I always used to help him hook up with the right girls etc.
Anyway he told me that the distance is usually what he does when he starts to like someone, and that the reason that my ex found out about the texts was coz he asked him straight out if it was okay if he could come see me, because with him family still does come first. I really couldnlt believe what I was hearing because I was never ever was his type. And as we got talking he admitted that he liked me but he couldn't be with me because of family and community constraints. People are going to talk. As the conversation progressed he dropped the line, don't fall for me, I'm not good for you. Which really pissed me off. I mean what is the point of all this. I don't want be somebodys fucking sex buddy for the rest of my bloody life! I want to fall in love, not necessarily with steve, bt its so wearing having to hear the same shit all the time! When r people going start wanting me to fall for them???
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1 comment:

  1. FRUSTRATING or what?! I feel for you girl! We can't help who we fall in love with, it happens! Plus, how cocky are these guys for believing you would just fall straight for them?!

    Bex xox