Sunday, 8 May 2011

Aslong as your happy

I have been meaning to write about my past week over and over and I keep putting it off because I know one day Daniel is going to ask to see this again, and I don't want him to know how I really feel. But then I defeats the whole point of me doing this in the first place, I promised you honesty, so here goes.

I didn't see him on monday when I got back, but I saw him on tuesday and sam. It was just a normalish day. Sam is really beginning to annoy me talking about what went on tween us in a take the piss kind of way in the library which annoys the fuck out of me because before he used to know if such a conversation was appropraite or not and now he just doesn't care. Its really bugging me because all week he's been doing it and Daniel joins in. Him with his double standards telling me to stop being that type of giirl and then taking the piss when I've gone back to the old me.
I saw Daniel on wednesday after my exam and seriously its like he was the Daniel I like when he isn't with Sam. He was sitting upstairs with that "I just got done up the arsel" face girl that always gives me dirty looks when I walk past. He came downstairs and we sat and talked for a bit about me going to see a psychic, to which he said no because I would just get my hopes up apparently. Then we went up got his stuff and he came ba to the flat with me to get my stuff so I could revise too. And I was getting changed and he was around. The fact that I felt comfortable enough to do so surprises me because I didn't think I'd be that comfortable with someone so quickly. Scary thoughts. Nehoo I saw him going to call Sam a few times and then cut it, don't know what was going on with them there. We sat in the library, me massaging his stupid head and reading. Even if I found a hot boy in the library, they wouldn't be interested because they'll just think I'm involved with him! Lol I don't mind doing it though, he has longish hair :)

And on thursday it was Helens birthday eve preparatory stuff, so I was kinda busy. Me and Daniel went shopping for his mum and after he drove past mine to fill up on petrol. He went to pay, and he was so cute the way he was pulling faces at me through the window.

See I'm reading back on all of this and it just sounds stupid and needy writing about every little moment I share with him. Like wtf?! See this is why I kept deleting my attempts at this post. I've written so much though, I aint deleting it. If it sounds dumb then tough. Don't care.

Ooo but I forgot the most important bit! I was wearing my superman tshirt on thursday and when we went sainsbury's the checkout man asked me where my superman was? I told him I was still looking for him. Then Daniel came and he goes ahh there's you're superman and. Me and Daniel just looked at eachother, and he was like yeah she wishes, and I was like yeah he aint good enough. Lol checkout man wished me luck in finding superman. :) anyway after Daniel asked me if I wanted his superman t-shirt and yesterday he took a picca and bbmed it to men asking me if I wanted it. I asked him y he didn't want it and he said that he does but it seems I want it more. He said aslong as ur happy, I'm just doing my bit.

If only he knew what would truly make me happy. But apparently he can only give what he can when he can. And he can never give me what I want. Because he knows what could make me happy, but why waste time hoping for "the-word-opposite-of-inevitable" *Sigh*. At uxbridge station. Will update you later on Helen's birthday palava.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

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