Friday, 1 July 2011

Anticipation

This week has just been so very bery busy. I can't even tell you what I did on Monday and Tuesday because I can't remember. Oh yeah I went to the Doctor's about the lump thing! Ahh yes it's all come flooding back to me now. So on Monday, I went to my surgery, and because of the stupid Underground train delays I was like 15 minutes late and the walk-in time-slot allocated for students had closed. They told me to go to the walk-in centre in Hayes. Because I didn't know the area very well, I called Daniel for directions. He was around uni though anyway, so he came to pick me up, and we went around Uxbridge, Uni and Hayes before he dropped me off to the clinic.

It's weird because at the beginning of our friendship I always expected him to leave at some point and I had prepared myself for his "fade-out" so many times. When we were in the car he asked me if I was going to get him something for his birthday. I told him no since he didn't get me anything for mine, and he goes, that then we weren't best friends in his little jokey way that he does. But it is true, in the most unlikliest of moments I did find a really good friend in him. Touch wood. But he has always been there for me if I had ever needed him, and he's helped in ways he knows not. I'll still have this I expect him to leave at any moment attitude though, it seems to work for me. So yeah, I asked him about who knows who, and who knows what in advance for our trip to the beach on Sunday. He told me that hos girlfriend doesn't know anyone else that's coming and that he's not told her about me or anything on my blog. Which makes the whole thing easier. Still Helen's told me to keep my distance, and hse's right because if it ever does come out, I don't want to have to deal with that guilt, because his girlfriend is really nice.

But in all honesty, all this space and stuff, and I have started to stop Seeing Daniel in that way and more as a friend. I've come to accpet his and his girlfriend's relationship is real and solid, and that I don't even compare. (Lol don't get the violins out, I'm not looking for sympathy I'm just being brutally honest). So yeah, feel a bit better about going now. Still doesn't know what he's doing though, like if he's going for just the day or a couple of nights. Knowing my luck the whole thing will just end up being cancelled. I went out shopping on Wednesday and got a nice pair of shorts to wear my bikini top with. Hides my flabby stomach enough, and also means I can hide my horrible fat thighs lol! Worried also about the two other guys. Like what if they don't like me? And Daniel has never really witnessed me with other people before. He's so going to see through my facade. Will that make me more jumpy? I can't even predict my own behaviour, because I've never goen away so far with people I don't know in clothes I'm going to feel real uncomfortable in, and no-one else to rely on. :S Meh least I have nice boobs to show off at the beach. Wednesday I also went for a much dreaded blood test :( Most horrible feeling ever! Ew.

Went Birmingham with Greg on Thursday. It was so much fun! Got on the train from Euston to Birmingham New street via Virgin Trains. It was so fast, there in about an hour! Birmingham though was rather a bit of a shit hole. We went to the sea - life centre where we saw the most cutest looking fish. Me and Greg had so much fun naming them to people we already know! We then went to the Jewellery quarter and pretended we were together, and looking for my engagement ring! It was so much fun, no-one doubted us, and I got to try on the most amazing rings! *siiiiigh* I didn't want to take them off. Platinum rings diamonds on the shoulders, and big huge huge diamond in the centre, princess cut... *Sighhhhhh*. It was sooo fun, we had to pretend we were in the middle of planning our wedding. Aaaaah and they had the most funniest accents, so sing-song. And we got the most amazing Ice-cream there ever was. Three scoops, Oreo Cookie, chocolate chip and forest fruits on a chocolate sprinkle cone! ooooh NOM! It was so weird being there, it's just like being in London, except they talked funny, and there wasn't much else to do. There was no hustle and bustle, and the shopping centre was packed out for a weekday. On top of that, their cabs were uber cheap and there buses were uber weird. You CAN'T use oysters! like WTF??

Anyhoo, I'm back at home for the day, going back tomorrow night so that I'll be home nice and early to prepare for the beach :) Have to call in sick at Primark again. Bad times. Eeek

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