Friday, 5 August 2011

Just an update

So the day that I posted my last blog, Bernard called me in the night, furher making me suspicious that he knows about my blog. He told me that I was right and that he wasn't in love with me. I was like in my head "No shit!" Just when I start questioning my feelings towards him, hes like yeah actually scratch that. I didn't know what to say to him after he stated the obvious, because I really didn't know what he was going with this conversation. And I was really angry, and he kept comparing "us" to his previous relationship. But it was so weird because usually when I get into one of my moods where nothing you say will only make things worse, there's no getting me out of it. But hew apologised and said he was sorry for taking off on me like that with no explanation. And i wasn't letting up because I was so frustrated with him, but before I knew it, he was making me laugh nad I could feel my mood lift, and I have no idea how he did it, or how I got over it so quickly. Usually it takes me forever to get me out of my moods.

But then he went and ruined any hopes of what we might of had. He goes to me that since I now sound a lot more calmer he had something to ask of me. I asked him what and he goes "Don't ever swear in my presence again" emphasis on the EVER. And I was like woah dude. Do one. I hate being told what to do especially by a guy. If he had said, could you try not swear so much it really offends me, then yeah I would of been like yeah I'll keep that in mind. I was laready careful of my swearing around him anyway, and the only reason I did "swear" was because he kept going on about his ex. I was so shocked I didn't even reply. I just told him I had to go and left the conversation. We didn't talk for a couple of days after that, but its all kind of mellow now.

Being home has been a lot more difficult since my Grandad has become more paranoid, and moody and my grandma gets more manipulative. Im just glad I've been at work all week scraping together all the cash that I possibly can to make ends meet this month. Seems I might have done okay. I'm going to try and make as much money as possible this month before I go back to uni. And yet again atempt to stop being so blase about my budget each week. Might even decrease my Overdraft so that I wont be tempted to be so careless. Anyway I do have a lot more to write, I just cba at the moment because I'm so tired, but remind me to catch you up on Helen and the Ex and various others.

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