Thursday, 15 September 2011

Why Do I Feel Like This?

This summer, I feel like I've gone through this really big internal transformation. I have some new found confidence in myself. Independence. A "I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck-What-You-Think" attitude so big it would shut Norman the hell up. I'm really not looking forward to going back to the flat. I hate being alone, that whole time spent cooped up in that flat was horrible it honestly could have been my fricking prison. I don't want to go back there and feel alone again. And I know soon as I get settled there, I'll hate coming home only because I hate readjusting to change. This in-between phase has been calming for me, knowing that I have another big academic year ahead of me, but not having to face it quiet yet. And here it is all of the sudden bam in my face. I have to go back and live in a nearly always empty home. Doesn't sound quiet as homely does it. I really don't know where its coming from but I feel so negative at the moment at everything. Old friends, new friends, ex boyfriends, potential boyfriends.

Maybe I'm feeling so annoyed because I want a change to help me establish the new found self. But everytime I try to make a change, I hit a dead end. Mum won't let me do anything. No to dyeing my hair. No to getting my hair cut. No to getting a tatto, No to getting a dog. No to my life!

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